Parents : Dealing With Child's Failure In Exams

It is that time of the year when results are pouring in from all across the country. Result of 12th and 10th standard being brought out by various boards. Results which would be first step towards one's career. Those who passed 10th would decide which stream to take , while those who passed 12th would decide which degree would they pursue.

I remember my result day of 12th. I didn't wanted any of my family members to accompany me for my results. I took my vehicle and along with my friend (who too was in 12th) went to school for results. I did get above average marks but my friend could not manage even first class.

When we came back his family was disappointed with the result and so were people who knew him. Everyone was worried what would he do with such low percentage. His future looked dull to people viewing him from his mark sheet. Career options seemed limited and his path was supposed to be taking admission into science college and doing mediocre job for rest of his life.

People had even passed judgment about how much he would earn and what social status he would carry. Just on basis on one exam!!!!!!!

Today he is in usa ,placed in nice firm and is doing pretty well and all those who judged him on basis on one marksheet send their kins to take advice from him , when ever he comes back to India!!!!!!

Dont get me wrong. It is good to get good marks and those who say education system is not right must understand that dealing with system and excelling in it is never bad thing to do.Idea of this hub is not criticizing education system .

Every parent wants his/her offspring to do well in life . Every parent wants his/her offspring to succeed and in country like India , education definitely helps in securing good career . Parents also want their offspring to have much better life than they had , never undergo struggles which they faced (generally) and become what they themselves could not become.

12th result becomes important aspect in above feelings/aspirations for parents.Now when offspring does not do well in exams , fails in it or gets low marks , it is understandable what goes through mind of parents. Dreams get shattered , fear pops in and sense of worry takes over. Quiet often it is followed by emotional outburst on one's children which takes toll on children's mindset .

One never knows how an eighteen year old reacts to emotional outburst from parents. Some become defiant , some don't listen , while some go to extent of attempting/committing suicide . The idea behind emotional outburst is never to harm one's child but most of time that is exactly what happens. Very few cases see student being motivated by such outbursts.

So what should a parent do?. Celebrate ?. Dont even say a word?. Well No. It is important that 18 year old brain grasp that what happened was not good but at same time , message should instill will to do better next time , then good for nothing feel.

Here are few steps which would help to deal with such cases :

1) Result is reality and outburst wont help. Accept it and take some time to bring the matter with your children.

2) Understand that failure in exam is not final. Confidence of your children is important for them to excel in real exam called life.

3) Sit with your children and listen to them about why they think they failed to get good marks or failed to pass. Listen without judging .Dont start imposing your ideas about what they did wrong. Understand their version and concerns first.

4) After listening to them , convey politely that they have let you down but this failure is not final. You have faith in them and they can excel in it.

5) Don't induce fear in their brains , that would make them defiant or loose confidence. Do let them know why education is important.

6) Don't load them with advise . At times neighbors , relatives pour in with their advise which backfire at times.

7) Improve communication with your offsprings

8) Make them view exams as game with its own set of rules and encourage them to play and win the game.

9) Reinforce your love , support and care on them .

10) Don't shy away from taking professional help , if needed (Many suicides could have been stopped if professional help would have soughted in time)